The Things I Never Said
I saw him, in between the cusp of summer ending and autumn beginning
He greeted me with a hug and awkwardness,
we have been cities apart since we last saw each other.
He said he's been thinking of me...
After all the shit he's told me?
I had already stopped believing him life times ago.
You miss me
Your heart's hurting.
You finally feel how I felt for years...
or at least this is what I thought.
Do you look for my smile on other women's faces?
Do the traces of me in your car remind you of the late nights you were parked outside my apartment, curious to know where I laid at night?
The idea of having me made you feel everything but whole
Because you never actually wanted me.
You probably don't know that my most sacred place was my bathroom floor.
I searched for forgiveness as my tears made home in between the tiles,
I lived in there the nights your spirit taunted me.
He wanted to say "sorry",
Like "sorry" made more sense to him than it did for me.
You want my forgiveness now...
While it took me years to forgive myself.
You can have it.
I'm ready to let go.
As autumn leaves begin to scatter,
I no longer wish to exist in your yesterdays.